Monday, 6 August 2007

Bob Allen Isn’t Gay. He’s a Racist!

If gay panic makes people killers, black panic makes them cocksuckers. In Bob Allen’s world, at least.

The Florida state representative insists he wasn’t trolling for dick when arrested for solicitation last month. No, no, he was trolling a public bathroom for sex, he just wanted to take a leak. His urination plans were cut short, however, when he encountered - gasp!- a black man in the bathroom.

Allen released a statement Thursday explaining how he offered to blow an undercover officer lest he “become a statistic,” whatever that means.

"I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it… This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park."

Thus, when the cop suggested they fool around, cracker ass Allen went along with the homosexual suggestion. The cop, however, is sticking to his story: Allen peered over a bathroom stall, said hello and said, “this is kind of a public place, isn’t it”. The cop suggested they go elsewhere, but told Allen he was “trying to make some money” and asked for $20. Allen agreed, but suggested they go somewhere more private. The officer again stipulated his price - and even allowed Allen to specify his kinks: “I wanna know what I gotta do for 20 bucks before we leave. I don’t know what you’re into.” Allen went on to suggest oral sex, “I was thinking you would want one,” he allegedly said. The officer concurred, began following Allen out of the bathroom and arrested him.

In a vain attempt to escape an embarrassing situation, Allen apparently tried to pull the politico card, asking whether his legislative status “would help”. The cop’s response? “No.” Now Allen’s trying to save his career by pulling the race card. Classy.

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